If i had only known you'd give just one thing to me,
It was your promise on our wedding day-the one didn't keep.
You promised you would cherish me until we both grew old,
The only vows you took to heart was "To Have" and "To Hold".
"To Have" me? I'm a prisoner, an object standing still.
"To Hold" me? Yes, you've done that too, but against my will.
If walls could tell their stories, and doors unlocked themselves,
Everyone would have a view into my secret hell.
Crazy? That is what you want me to think I am,
Telling me you meant no harm....and that you never will again.
The nights you tower over me just to make me feel
As if the blame and shame are mine-and my feelings are not real.
But you don't know that with each blow and hurt you have to give,
The more you build my silent nerve, and my will to live.
You think that you have won, I'm broken on the ground,
But you don't know the plans in place and strength that I have found.
Just know there will come a day, not far within my reach,
The only things to grip my soul are happiness and peace.
I thank you for letting me see your true colors, now I'm loving the girl I've become.
- To you, with resentment, love, your survivor.